“I brought my daughter into the world and took her out of it.”

As I held Deborah’s hand during her final breath, I felt a mix of profound sadness and relief. My beautiful whirlwind of a girl was gone, and so was her pain. The grief of losing a child is unbearable, and every day without her is a struggle. Tomorrow, however, will be especially hard.

Even though one of my children has passed away, I will always be a mother of three. Today, my thoughts are with my grandchildren, 16-year-old Hugo and 14-year-old Eloise, who have lost their wonderful mother. It breaks my heart that they can no longer send her a card, give her a gift, or simply receive her loving hug.

For the past 21 months, all I have been able to do is love them and be there for them, just as Deborah would have wanted. My oldest daughter, Dame Deborah James, succumbed to bowel cancer five and a half years after her diagnosis. She was only 40 years old.

It’s hard to believe that the world continues without her. She was a force of nature from the time she was a little girl. Diagnosed in December 2016 at 35 years old, with two young children, Deborah faced the shock of bowel cancer despite being a healthy, active woman who didn’t smoke or eat meat. Initial symptoms of weight loss, bloody stools, and fatigue were mistakenly attributed to stress or IBS. The stage four cancer diagnosis was devastating.

Deborah’s courage and determination were unwavering, traits that had always defined her. She didn’t just want to cope with her illness; she wanted to help others. She became a vocal advocate for cancer awareness, using her platform to educate the public about the disease, its symptoms, and the importance of paying attention to one’s body.

“She wished the world were a better place for her kids,” was a mantra that drove her advocacy. She began writing a column for The Sun and launched the Bowelbabe blog shortly after her diagnosis. She co-hosted the popular podcast “You, Me, and the Big C,” collaborated with The Sun to lower the NHS screening age, encouraged people to get checked, and spoke openly about bowel movements to break the stigma surrounding them.

Deborah’s children, Hugo and Eloise, were her world. She wanted to ensure a better future for them, one where they wouldn’t have to fear cancer. This desire fueled one of her last and most significant projects, the Bowelbabe Fund, established to fund cancer research and develop new treatments. Even as her time was running out, she gave everything she had to this cause.